For the last three days, something strange has been happening to me.

Every morning, I know the evening is coming.

And somehow, I find myself waiting for it.

Not because I have some important work to do.

Not because I have somewhere special to go.

But because, in the evening, I get to play volleyball.

It has only been three days.

My body is already complaining.

My legs hurt. My muscles hurt. After playing for around one and a half to two hours, I come home physically exhausted.

But my mind feels incredibly happy.

I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this happy.

And while thinking about this feeling, I realized something:

I've felt this before.

12th Class vs Now - Waiting for the Evening

When I Used to Wait for Chemistry Class

Back in 12th class, I had a crush on a girl from my chemistry class.

I never told her.

I didn't have the confidence to express what I felt.

Somewhere in my mind, I had already decided that she probably wouldn't like me.

So I kept it to myself.

But there was one thing I had back then.

Something to look forward to.

My chemistry class was in the evening.

And because she was there, I used to wait for the evening.

I would go to chemistry class just to see her.

Sometimes, if I'm being honest, I probably cared more about seeing her than actually learning chemistry.

And after class, I would wait outside on the road just to see her again.

Nothing happened.

There was no confession.

No relationship.

No dramatic ending.

Just a boy who liked a girl and quietly looked forward to seeing her.

But now, when I look back, I realize something.

It wasn't only about the girl.

It was about having something that made me excited for the evening.

I had a reason to say:

"Bas shaam ho jaye."

Then Life Happened

Years passed.

Things changed.

People changed.

And somewhere along the way, I lost that feeling.

Life slowly became a collection of things I had to do.

Work.

Tasks.

Screens.

Thinking about the future.

Thinking about what I should be doing.

Thinking about everything I haven't done yet.

And sometimes, even people started becoming a source of pressure.

There were times when I felt that some people treated me differently because I didn't have much to offer them.

It felt like the kind of situation where someone owes you money.

Until they have the money, they avoid you.

They don't call.

They don't want to talk.

And once they have something to give you, suddenly they are comfortable talking again.

I started feeling like some people were treating me that way.

And eventually, I asked myself:

Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to be important to people who don't give me importance?

So I changed something.

I didn't start hating anyone.

I didn't deliberately ignore anyone.

I simply stopped giving certain people so much importance.

I stopped chasing.

I stopped trying so hard to prove my value.

And strangely, some people seemed to notice.

Maybe they really did.

Maybe I was simply noticing things differently.

I don't know.

But I learned something:

My peace cannot depend entirely on how much importance someone else gives me.

Still, there was something missing.

I didn't have anything I genuinely looked forward to.

Until volleyball.

Then Volleyball Happened

Three days ago, I started playing volleyball.

That's it.

Nothing extraordinary.

Just a game.

But somehow, something clicked.

For one and a half to two hours, I'm outside.

I'm running.

I'm sweating.

I'm playing.

I'm talking to people.

I'm laughing.

I'm meeting people.

I'm becoming socially involved again.

And I'm physically active.

My body is tired.

But my mind is happy.

Really happy.

And then I realized:

I'm waiting for the evening again.

Just like I used to in 12th class.

Back then, I waited for the evening because I wanted to see her.

Today, I wait for the evening because I want to play volleyball.

The person has changed.

The reason has changed.

The year has changed.

But the feeling is strangely familiar.

I'm excited because something good is waiting for me at the end of the day.

Something Else Started Changing

The funny thing is that volleyball didn't just change my evenings.

It started changing my entire day.

Now I find myself wanting to finish my work faster.

Not because someone is forcing me.

Not because I suddenly became extremely disciplined.

But because I want to earn my evening.

I want to finish what I need to finish so I can go play without guilt.

And that word matters to me.

Guilt-free.

I don't want to be playing while thinking:

"I should be working."

So I work.

I finish my tasks.

And then I go play.

For those two hours, I don't feel guilty.

I just enjoy myself.

And somehow, that simple cycle is helping me.

Work → Finish → Play → Meet people → Get physically tired → Feel good.

I'm not saying this is some magical productivity hack.

Maybe it's simply that I finally have something I genuinely want to do.

Even My Screen Time Changed

Another strange thing happened.

My screen usage started going down.

I don't even know exactly why.

Maybe it's because I finally have something more interesting to do.

For a long time, whenever I was bored, I could reach for my phone.

Whenever I didn't know what to do, I could open a screen.

Whenever I felt uncomfortable, I could distract myself.

Now I have somewhere to go.

People to meet.

A game to play.

A body that needs to move.

And suddenly, spending another hour staring at a screen doesn't feel as attractive.

My Body Hurts, But My Mind Feels Good

There is something almost funny about this.

Three days ago, I started playing volleyball.

Three days later, my body is telling me:

"What the hell are you doing?"

Everything hurts.

But I still want to go tomorrow.

Because the physical pain somehow feels different from the mental heaviness I was carrying before.

This pain came from running.

From jumping.

From playing.

From laughing.

From being outside.

And when I come home tired, I don't feel like I wasted those two hours.

I feel like I lived them.

I Don't Know How Long This Will Last

This is only day three.

I don't know whether this feeling will last for a week.

Or a month.

Or a year.

Maybe one day volleyball will become normal.

Maybe I won't be this excited about it anymore.

And that's okay.

I don't want to force this feeling to last forever.

I'm simply grateful that it exists right now.

Because honestly, I don't remember the last time I was this happy.

The last two days especially have been some of the happiest days I've had in a very long time.

And maybe I don't need to understand exactly why.

Maybe I just need to enjoy them.

Maybe This Is What I Was Missing

For a long time, I thought happiness would come from something big.

A job.

Money.

Success.

Achievement.

Getting my life completely figured out.

Maybe someday I'll get those things.

Maybe they will make me happy too.

But these last few days have reminded me that happiness can also be incredibly ordinary.

Sometimes it's just:

Going outside.

Playing a game.

Sweating.

Laughing.

Talking to people.

Coming home tired.

Reducing your screen time without even trying.

Finishing your work because you want to enjoy your evening.

And having something to look forward to.

The Same Feeling, Years Later

When I was in 12th class, I used to wait for the evening because there was a girl in my chemistry class I wanted to see.

I never told her how I felt.

I didn't have the confidence.

I didn't know whether she would like me.

So I simply carried that feeling quietly.

Years later, I'm waiting for the evening again.

But this time, there is no secret crush.

There is no chemistry class.

There is no waiting outside on the road just to see someone.

There is a volleyball court.

There are people.

There is a ball.

There is sweat.

There is pain.

There is laughter.

And there is me.

Waiting for the evening.

Maybe that's the beautiful part.

The person and the reason changed, but the feeling came back.

The feeling of having something to look forward to.

The feeling of knowing that the day isn't just a list of responsibilities.

There is something waiting for me at the end of it.

For Now, That's Enough

I don't know what happens next.

Maybe I'll keep playing volleyball.

Maybe I'll stop after some time.

Maybe this excitement will fade.

Maybe something else will eventually replace it.

I don't know.

But for now, I don't want to overthink it.

I just want to enjoy these evenings.

Because after a long time, I'm waking up knowing that somewhere ahead of me is a part of the day I genuinely want to reach.

And perhaps happiness isn't always about having everything figured out.

Perhaps sometimes happiness is simply having something that makes you say:

"Bas shaam ho jaye."

And right now,

I have that again.

For the last three days, something strange has been happening to me.

Every morning, I know the evening is coming.

And somehow, I find myself waiting for it.

Not because I have some important work to do.

Not because I have somewhere special to go.

But because, in the evening, I get to play volleyball.

It has only been three days.

My body is already complaining.

My legs hurt. My muscles hurt. After playing for around one and a half to two hours, I come home physically exhausted.

But my mind feels incredibly happy.

I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this happy.

And while thinking about this feeling, I realized something:

I've felt this before.

12th Class vs Now - Waiting for the Evening

When I Used to Wait for Chemistry Class

Back in 12th class, I had a crush on a girl from my chemistry class.

I never told her.

I didn't have the confidence to express what I felt.

Somewhere in my mind, I had already decided that she probably wouldn't like me.

So I kept it to myself.

But there was one thing I had back then.

Something to look forward to.

My chemistry class was in the evening.

And because she was there, I used to wait for the evening.

I would go to chemistry class just to see her.

Sometimes, if I'm being honest, I probably cared more about seeing her than actually learning chemistry.

And after class, I would wait outside on the road just to see her again.

Nothing happened.

There was no confession.

No relationship.

No dramatic ending.

Just a boy who liked a girl and quietly looked forward to seeing her.

But now, when I look back, I realize something.

It wasn't only about the girl.

It was about having something that made me excited for the evening.

I had a reason to say:

"Bas shaam ho jaye."

Then Life Happened

Years passed.

Things changed.

People changed.

And somewhere along the way, I lost that feeling.

Life slowly became a collection of things I had to do.

Work.

Tasks.

Screens.

Thinking about the future.

Thinking about what I should be doing.

Thinking about everything I haven't done yet.

And sometimes, even people started becoming a source of pressure.

There were times when I felt that some people treated me differently because I didn't have much to offer them.

It felt like the kind of situation where someone owes you money.

Until they have the money, they avoid you.

They don't call.

They don't want to talk.

And once they have something to give you, suddenly they are comfortable talking again.

I started feeling like some people were treating me that way.

And eventually, I asked myself:

Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to be important to people who don't give me importance?

So I changed something.

I didn't start hating anyone.

I didn't deliberately ignore anyone.

I simply stopped giving certain people so much importance.

I stopped chasing.

I stopped trying so hard to prove my value.

And strangely, some people seemed to notice.

Maybe they really did.

Maybe I was simply noticing things differently.

I don't know.

But I learned something:

My peace cannot depend entirely on how much importance someone else gives me.

Still, there was something missing.

I didn't have anything I genuinely looked forward to.

Until volleyball.

Then Volleyball Happened

Three days ago, I started playing volleyball.

That's it.

Nothing extraordinary.

Just a game.

But somehow, something clicked.

For one and a half to two hours, I'm outside.

I'm running.

I'm sweating.

I'm playing.

I'm talking to people.

I'm laughing.

I'm meeting people.

I'm becoming socially involved again.

And I'm physically active.

My body is tired.

But my mind is happy.

Really happy.

And then I realized:

I'm waiting for the evening again.

Just like I used to in 12th class.

Back then, I waited for the evening because I wanted to see her.

Today, I wait for the evening because I want to play volleyball.

The person has changed.

The reason has changed.

The year has changed.

But the feeling is strangely familiar.

I'm excited because something good is waiting for me at the end of the day.

Something Else Started Changing

The funny thing is that volleyball didn't just change my evenings.

It started changing my entire day.

Now I find myself wanting to finish my work faster.

Not because someone is forcing me.

Not because I suddenly became extremely disciplined.

But because I want to earn my evening.

I want to finish what I need to finish so I can go play without guilt.

And that word matters to me.

Guilt-free.

I don't want to be playing while thinking:

"I should be working."

So I work.

I finish my tasks.

And then I go play.

For those two hours, I don't feel guilty.

I just enjoy myself.

And somehow, that simple cycle is helping me.

Work → Finish → Play → Meet people → Get physically tired → Feel good.

I'm not saying this is some magical productivity hack.

Maybe it's simply that I finally have something I genuinely want to do.

Even My Screen Time Changed

Another strange thing happened.

My screen usage started going down.

I don't even know exactly why.

Maybe it's because I finally have something more interesting to do.

For a long time, whenever I was bored, I could reach for my phone.

Whenever I didn't know what to do, I could open a screen.

Whenever I felt uncomfortable, I could distract myself.

Now I have somewhere to go.

People to meet.

A game to play.

A body that needs to move.

And suddenly, spending another hour staring at a screen doesn't feel as attractive.

My Body Hurts, But My Mind Feels Good

There is something almost funny about this.

Three days ago, I started playing volleyball.

Three days later, my body is telling me:

"What the hell are you doing?"

Everything hurts.

But I still want to go tomorrow.

Because the physical pain somehow feels different from the mental heaviness I was carrying before.

This pain came from running.

From jumping.

From playing.

From laughing.

From being outside.

And when I come home tired, I don't feel like I wasted those two hours.

I feel like I lived them.

I Don't Know How Long This Will Last

This is only day three.

I don't know whether this feeling will last for a week.

Or a month.

Or a year.

Maybe one day volleyball will become normal.

Maybe I won't be this excited about it anymore.

And that's okay.

I don't want to force this feeling to last forever.

I'm simply grateful that it exists right now.

Because honestly, I don't remember the last time I was this happy.

The last two days especially have been some of the happiest days I've had in a very long time.

And maybe I don't need to understand exactly why.

Maybe I just need to enjoy them.

Maybe This Is What I Was Missing

For a long time, I thought happiness would come from something big.

A job.

Money.

Success.

Achievement.

Getting my life completely figured out.

Maybe someday I'll get those things.

Maybe they will make me happy too.

But these last few days have reminded me that happiness can also be incredibly ordinary.

Sometimes it's just:

Going outside.

Playing a game.

Sweating.

Laughing.

Talking to people.

Coming home tired.

Reducing your screen time without even trying.

Finishing your work because you want to enjoy your evening.

And having something to look forward to.

The Same Feeling, Years Later

When I was in 12th class, I used to wait for the evening because there was a girl in my chemistry class I wanted to see.

I never told her how I felt.

I didn't have the confidence.

I didn't know whether she would like me.

So I simply carried that feeling quietly.

Years later, I'm waiting for the evening again.

But this time, there is no secret crush.

There is no chemistry class.

There is no waiting outside on the road just to see someone.

There is a volleyball court.

There are people.

There is a ball.

There is sweat.

There is pain.

There is laughter.

And there is me.

Waiting for the evening.

Maybe that's the beautiful part.

The person and the reason changed, but the feeling came back.

The feeling of having something to look forward to.

The feeling of knowing that the day isn't just a list of responsibilities.

There is something waiting for me at the end of it.

For Now, That's Enough

I don't know what happens next.

Maybe I'll keep playing volleyball.

Maybe I'll stop after some time.

Maybe this excitement will fade.

Maybe something else will eventually replace it.

I don't know.

But for now, I don't want to overthink it.

I just want to enjoy these evenings.

Because after a long time, I'm waking up knowing that somewhere ahead of me is a part of the day I genuinely want to reach.

And perhaps happiness isn't always about having everything figured out.

Perhaps sometimes happiness is simply having something that makes you say:

"Bas shaam ho jaye."

And right now,

I have that again.

I Started Waiting for the Evening Again

When I Used to Wait for Chemistry Class

Then Life Happened

Then Volleyball Happened

Something Else Started Changing

Even My Screen Time Changed

My Body Hurts, But My Mind Feels Good

I Don't Know How Long This Will Last

Maybe This Is What I Was Missing

The Same Feeling, Years Later

For Now, That's Enough

I Started Waiting for the Evening Again

When I Used to Wait for Chemistry Class

Then Life Happened

Then Volleyball Happened

Something Else Started Changing

Even My Screen Time Changed

My Body Hurts, But My Mind Feels Good

I Don't Know How Long This Will Last

Maybe This Is What I Was Missing

The Same Feeling, Years Later

For Now, That's Enough